I see it in my head a door in front of me, I don’t face it ever. I won’t face it ever. I know it intamently like it’s the door in a house I’ve lived in forever. Every scratch and dent in it, I was there for, if there was a new one I would know it. It’s a green door I hate the color green, with a brass handle and a cheap dead-bolt the key side is facing out, the bolt lever toward me. It’s emitting a force, the air around it is heavy, heavy like it should be pushing down on me but it’s not just down, it pushes out too. The force is controlled by me, my mind is the switch. I won’t turn it off. It’s not dark in here, it’s ok. I am accompanied by the thoughts I have, the visions and day dreams keep me distracted. They come in through a window in a wall. There is no question ever, it is impossible, I won’t go out it. You can only come in it. I think as they say it is the minds eye. It sees so many things. It has a curtain but it’s the sun’s rays that are bouncing off things that the eye perceives, how could a curtain stop that, ever? The things that come in they keep me company, we dance. And when I’ve become too tired to dance they let me rest. They must let me rest, or I will faint, and die. How could they torture me then? They don’t really though, they only give me what I want. Provided I don’t leave my room. But no worry about that, I can’t. I torture myself with what I want. How is that possible, it makes no sense. I’m simply charged now. I’m moving forward no matter what. There is no stopping me. Only God can now. Will he? If he does then I will be stuck in front of this picture, I can not take it. This picture. But I digress.
