I see it in my head a door in front of me, I don’t face it ever. I won’t face it ever. I know it intamently like it’s the door in a house I’ve lived in forever. Every scratch and dent in it, I was there for, if there was a new one I would know it. It’s a green door I hate the color green, with a brass handle and a cheap dead-bolt the key side is facing out, the bolt lever toward me. It’s emitting a force, the air around it is heavy, heavy like it should be pushing down on me but it’s not just down, it pushes out too. The force is controlled by me, my mind is the switch. I won’t turn it off. It’s not dark in here, it’s ok. I am accompanied by the thoughts I have, the visions and day dreams keep me distracted. They come in through a window in a wall. There is no question ever, it is impossible, I won’t go out it. You can only come in it. I think as they say it is the minds eye. It sees so many things. It has a curtain but it’s the sun’s rays that are bouncing off things that the eye perceives, how could a curtain stop that, ever? The things that come in they keep me company, we dance. And when I’ve become too tired to dance they let me rest. They must let me rest, or I will faint, and die. How could they torture me then? They don’t really though, they only give me what I want. Provided I don’t leave my room. But no worry about that, I can’t. I torture myself with what I want. How is that possible, it makes no sense. I’m simply charged now. I’m moving forward no matter what. There is no stopping me. Only God can now. Will he? If he does then I will be stuck in front of this picture, I can not take it. This picture. But I digress.
66 comments:
Real or Fake: the thoughts of "Our Rooms" has a lot of interesting subtle hints of ones life.
One who faces something in their life (fear of something) whatever is behind the door and perhaps what is behind the door is known, but this person will not take the step to face the fear. Since they know this door intamently, this would indicate that the "thing" is real, not resolved, hindering one's life but only because they won't face it, can't face it without the strength of someone else. The appearence of the "thing" repulses one from drawing near to it, while the cheap dead bolt suggest that it would be no issue at all to get through the door, the only thing keeping one in is one's on thoughts and desires. The room and the door are not the issue, it's what on the other side, the room is a safe place and the door is just a symbol and a weak one at that. A small place in the mind allows you to have thoughts, dreams and visions, perhaps the eyes are the window..The things that come in are only what the mind makes it out to be, but in this case they are good, because they follow in a dance of the mind, entertaining thoughts after thoughts. One thinks to the point of exhaustion, so one's thoughts must stop. One is in control of the thoughts and this is why they give one what it wants. The Room is the safe place, if one leaves it, it leaves the safe place where thoughts are in control by one, stepping out side of this allows chaos to reign.
The last touch of paint for the picture has yet to be made.
XD Who is this? CX
Any truth to the things said?
What does XD and CX stand for?
I will permit you one answer that you might do the same. XD and CX are big smiles, with the eye slightly frowning in thought. A frown brought by focus not frustration.
Your name?
The time difference in the last two question would denote two different askers.
Truly would my name make a difference in the way you think or the way you post? Knowing a name would only allow you the comfort of your brain knowing a name which for some odd reason seems to put our mind at ease. But what if I don't know you and you don't know me? What if I simply found your blog and found it interesting and decided to write on it. Your interest in a name really is only out of curious nature, my interest in whether or not the words I wrote having any meaning to your life is more then from a curious nature. So if you will permit me to not make known my name until later with a promise that I will make known my name after you make known the answer to my question, I would appreciate it, besides again, what is a name except perhaps something of comfort or control for "one".
Hi: So XD and CX mean smiles? Interesting, I did not know this...........I go by Jacob.............thanks,.
Well said. It is curiosity that asks, but here, it is not curiosity that reigns. While your first post excites thought, reflection, and once again curiosity, my answering your second post would break the rules. You are welcome here, even invited, and at this point I am looking for a way to allow your posts to be seen with mine. All this said I am enjoying this mystery and will respect your terms by not asking your name again, until I have something to offer you.
Hi Jacab. How did you end up on this blog? Do you have one yourself? <(**)^ ^(**)^ ^(**)>
Ultimately on this blog as well as "in your room, with a green door" you are the one that reigns. But I can see that this all interest you enough to continue on for a while. The funny thing is, we are both fighting (at this point) for the same thing..."control". I asked for one thing yet you say that would break the rules...."what are the rules then?" Yet you say you won't ask my name until you have something to offer me. Since I only asked for one thing, what more could you offer?
I learned long ago that not everything you read always appears as it seems :O)
I wonder around looking at myspace and all these other blogs as long as I can get on them. I probably won't visit much, but you do have an interesting blog write up. And you continue to use symbols that I don't understand; you taught me the first set and then you used this last set, so what do they mean?
The 2nd set are just dancing people. ^.-
See I know nothing of the symbols and I do believe you continue to put them out there so I will return. What is the latest symbol mean in computer world? ^.-
Is that like a wink?
Yes. -_-
I am catching on -_-
You have become a person of few words lately. Notice you and the other person have not said much to each other. You two seem to be having fun with the whole mystery thing :) Check back with ya later
Jacob, you have a blog or myspace page?
I naturally don't have a lot to say in person, so talking online makes it even harder.
I was enjoying talking with Curiosity I am hoping that (s)he will have more to say about future writings. It was fun to see somebody else interpret what I had written.
orz If you can tell me what orz means I'll, I'll, erm. I'll show you even more face things.
Seeing what you wrote here in your blog to "unknown" makes me think you have lots to say :)
I am asking what the meaning is of the symbols are that you use and you are asking me to tell you what "orz" means? You are funny. I am barely able to get online and write in blogs. I will do some research and see what I come up with and get back with you.
I'm not allowed to create these things, only allowed to view certain one's and post on them. They make me nervous anyway.
Chat back with you at a later date.
I see my friend is having some fun with you now Jacob!
Allow me to enlighten you on several meanings of Orz!
1. It could be related to a race in the fictional star control universe. Although I doubt Casey is referencing this in this particular case.
2. Orz - is a Japanese emoticon representing a kneeling or bowing person, could be implied as failure and despair.
3. Orz - could be an implied meaning of admiration for someone else's view or action. This meaning is widely used in chinese online connunities.
Hope that helps both of you.
Looking forward to your next post Casey, I have been enjoying our bantering, however, you still owe me a response for my last post previous to this one (*_*)
:P Communities........(SP) is not my strong point.
Ummm,ok, so which of the 3 meanings did you have in mind when you told me to tell you what it meant Casey? ~J~
o.O You told him?!? O well. That is my favorite one. I used it when playing online games with Japanese people. I generally used it to say sorry I screwed up and got us all killed. (didn't have to use it much^.- ) So number two.
If you ever get one I imagine you'd do really well with it considering how much you read other peoples.
Went canoeing last night with a couple of friends. I was in a canoe with one guy and the other guy was in a kayak. Kayak guy had one fish jump into his kayak and I had 2 fish jump into the canoe. We also came upon a snake and a beaver. Both of which freaked us out. Mostly cause we have fun getting freaked out in the woods at night. XD
Ok here are some more faces for you. 8-) :-[ :'( :-/ :-X @.@;
Ok now I need to give a response to Curiosity. ^^
Ok. Drops from the souls of men who here have no names. Take there drops set forth, to resonate with yours. Each one a picture here, with written word I"ve drawn. Only to say,, "you're not alone". Some drops for you, some are not (*Take what’s yours then take your leave. That these men may, each one, stay free.*)
Above is my explanation and rules. (**) Is why I won't elaborate more on what you have said. It is "the rule" you where asking me to break. The reason I won't elaborate on my writings is because I have friends that read my blog and try and figure out what they mean, and then assume they are about me. All of which is perfectly normal. I like it even. I especially liked your spin on Rooms.
The problem this response creates is that not everything I write is always about me, and equally troubling is that it is sometimes about me. I don't want EVERYONE to know, or even worse THINK they know who and what I am writing about. Not elaborating on my writing or there inspiration allows me to write freely and openley draw pictures for people to see of the darker halls of men’s lives as well as keeping the people I have written about "safe". The reason I draw them to begin with is simply because I enjoy them. I actually just wrote and erased a paragraph going on about how I wrote these so that people don't feel so alone in there problems that may be createing feelings similar to the ones that prompted these writings. Thats great, really, but not true. I write them because I enjoy them. I show them for somebody else.
As far as what else I could offer you, I have no idea. But if you stick around long enough maybe our dealings will produce another desire I could satisfy in return for your Identity. Or possibly vise versa
Ok my wife just read this last post and was like O.O! "Using the word desire could really send the wrong message." So I'm not trying to mean anything sexual AT ALL! Just sounded like a good word to use. I basicly meant maybe we would become friends and you would just tell me your name or give me the webaddress to your blog or what have you. Or that maybe you would come up with a way to convince me to tell you the meaning of some of the stuff I wrote. @.@; ok hope that settled that. I'm not about to trash and re-write an entire comment to change one word. >.>
You do have a way with words; your first remark says it all.
There is so much truth in the words you write, it's funny how we feel comfortable hiding behind our words, yet at first only enough to test the waters. To see what happens if we put ourselves out there a bit for the nibble and if no return is noticed, we feel free to spew more of our soul as comfort allows. With no face to put behind the words, most would think your words to be poetic not short of intelligent, but I already know differently, the face on the canvas is slowly coming to light, as I read your words they swirl in my head and when I lay my pin to the canvas I never know what lies ahead, will it be you that I draw or the life of another, I do have to be careful as I read your words, as I already see in your posting blurb that you could easily throw in the ramblings of a friend which certainly could misdirect my canvas pen.
But I should warn you if you already did not know, the comfort and mystery that we tend to find sometimes slips away without our mind taking notice as the things around us grow more common.
When you first find yourself looking at a dot in the distance, your mind dances with excitement and thrill of what lays ahead, a touch of mystery a touch of danger a touch of journey is flashing all at once. Just remember all you see is a dot, there is no form, you have not gotten close enough yet to see what it reveals and when you do will it bring thrills or as the curious cat found out at the very end will it be enemy or foe or could it be a friend?
I understand your rules all to well; in the world we create these rules make us feel safe, comfortable and mysterious. In a way it is funny as I draw a line here, your rules mimic the ways of the world we live in today...so be sure and ask your self if your rules are really the best way as I will abide by them as long as you want...but I my friend already know away for us both to get what we want.
I did not take your word "desire" the wrong way, if it helps your wife at all I am a guy and I'm not gay :)
I feel as if we are already friends, just having some fun with a mystery until it comes to the point when either you tell all or as I stated in my previous post, I tell you the way we both get what we want........non-threatening, non-sexual kind of way...clean and honest... :P
^^ It's late and I'm sick so I will just smile for now. I will reply, I think, with more substance later. Well it's not really late, but since I'm sick it feels that way.
My wife will be relieved that you are are a guy and not gay.
Dude, you two guys give me a headache, I can't keep up with the writing. However, the canoe trip sounds fun, although I would get freaked out by the snake a little, I don't really like them a lot. Thanks for yet more faces, I suppose they all mean more then just simply happy or sad since there are other symbols with them. I hate home work, but I will try to find these symbols. Later, hope you get to feeling better.
What did the other guy mean when he said "He knows a way for both of you to get what you want"? What do you guys want? ~J~
The faces specific meanings are really realative to the "chat group" you are in, as well as the sentence they belong too. But it's probably to much to hope that most people will interpret your faces they exact way you mean them.
I don't know exactly what he's talking about as far as "the way" goes. As far as what we want, I want his identity and he wants the meaning of my blogs. ^^
Well Sir Dot I do believe you will turn out to be friend, and It seems you've chased down your share of dots as well.
I do have a question for you. What did you mean exactly when you said "the comfort and mystery that we tend to find sometimes slips away without our mind taking notice as the things around us grow more common."
I can't decide if I really want to tell you what I meant by that or not. It almost seems unfair that I drop you this real world clue/hint on life and you want me to explain it further while you remain a mystery.
I admit it probably makes more sense to me right now, but if you really stopped to think about this it would probably make sense to you as well.
Comfort/Mystery slips away because of us. I can tell you that much.
Later my friend.
Researching those faces make me tired :( I don't know what they mean ~C~
I think I enjoy reading the bantering mystery talk between you and "unknown" rather then look up the meaning behind "faces". They do interest me though, so perhaps I will spend a little more time looking.
Comfort and Mystery slipping away, that is interesting. It seems to me that the mystery is the real "theme" here between you two, I could be wrong but how does comfort play a role in this? I am confused. Chat more later ~J~
In most cases one would assume that comfort would give way to mystery, or that mystery would give way to comfort. In this particular case it would be fair to say that you are referencing us. I, and I would suppose that you too are very comfortably working out this mystery. Given enough time and contact each state could dissolve as we approach our goals.
You could have an entirely different scenario in mind one that may or may not involve the two of us at once.
Would you be willing to share who is pictured on this particular canvas?
O.O O, I didn’t mean for you to research them. They basicly mean what they look like.
As far as reading “unknown‘s” and my blurbs your are more than welcome to try and interpret them too. In fact I meant to ask you what you thought about the mystery and comfort thing too.
Mystery displaced by fact is what our goal is, at least the one that we have made apparent. I feel sure there are some underlying goals as well. So in short, yes, you are right about mystery. Comforts role is what has created this mystery. It was comfort that lead me to keep secret the meaning of my original post, and why I still refuse to trade that meaning for his identity. Does that help?
Hmm I'm trying to think up a mysterious face. ~V.V~ Thats more wierd than mysterious.
http://www.coolfamily.com/Keyboardfaces.htm
Check out these faces Jacob.
You are not so far off of the truth here. The canvas is two mirrors pasted together back to back, there is a person on each side of the mirror but they can't see each other. That is you and I at this point. There is a way however to see through the mirror into the other persons side, I know this answer and if you think about it you do to. See behind the mirrors we are confident, we know the rules and are comfortable with them, but there is still that mystery and the only thing holding that mystery in place is "comfort". What happens if comfort changes positions, it becomes more of a common thing instead of a safty thing? In the hands of man all things are of a curious pose. Can we resist the call to peak around the mirror? For if I peak on one side perhaps I will not be seen because you might be looking at something else, so I see you but you don't see me...or perhaps I peek around and there you are watching me as my face comes into sight, then we are both found out, but only one has the answer to their question :) To this end I speak of comfort and mystery becoming a common ground so much so that is betrays us onto a path we said we would not take.
So there is a bit more of the warning....and a confirmation to your question of whom is on the canvas. "just as a side note, it involves both of us at once and yet individually as well".
Here is an interesting point for you and me, as each word you write I read, the brush on the canvas makes another stroke for me....with each word I write to what end has it or will it give you hope other then I am still here?
My dear boy ~J~, Mystery is the product of comfort in this particular situation, the question is will mystery suddenly become the product and betray us in the name of comfort?
Uhhhh, Ok "unknown", I have no idea what that means :)But I will take your word for it.
Cool faces ~C~ I am glad to hear that you did not expect me to research them, not a big fan of school work :)
The riddle or whatever it is hurts my head, any clue what all that means ~C~?
Yes, but I don't know that I could do it and it still make sense whithout being able to use audible words. In fact I really don't think that I could.
What are you a big fan of?
wow.
i just stopped by to ask if you were "no sabes."
maybe Jacob is "no sabes."
To bad, I really don't quiet get it, perhaps I am not supposed to.
I am a fan of animals, I like all sort of animals. I like to read certain books but I have to be the one to pick it out and I have to be interested in it otherwise I don't want to read it. I am interested in food, I like food...Hmmm, I'm not sure what else, I like the taste of beer. Ok, your turn...
Hmmm. I like mmorpg's and Hiking, camping, canoeing, I'm kinda sorta trying to learn spanish, and food too. Food is a GOOD one. ^^ Depending on what day it is Real food and deserts fight over which I like most. Right now I have a tub of Cool-Whip that I am going to just eat straight outa the container. But I must admit I almost never do that, and the only other form of junk food I have in my house is a bag of chips my in-laws left last week. O.O I just remembered I have sherbert as well, that my wife bought me a couple of weeks ago. This is bad I need to eat dinner before I finish off a tub of sherbert and cool-whip. Other than that we don't even buy deserts and snacks cause I like em too much and would eat them all. We try to stick to mostly organic stuff, but we aren't die-hard about that either. Wow, I wrote more about food than I meant too.
Ya got any animials?
What are some of the other blogs that you regulary check?
"This just isn't my lucky day..." is one of my favorites.
Don't have any animals anymore, we use to live on a small farm but now live in the city sort of. We use to have pigs, goats, dogs, cats, ducks, turkeys, chickens, we had some cows at one point and a horse or two and ummmm that might be all.
I don't know, I just randomly look at other peoples stuff, nothing regular.
Sounds like you guys eat pretty healthy, good for yall, I don't eat all that healthy, we usually have a lot of junk food around the house, I don't drink a lot of soda's though, so that is good.
Why is that blog one of your favorites?
Hello Mr. Casey and how are you sir? Looks like you been having fun on here :) You and your mysterious side, you always have loved being like that haven't you...
So no junk food hey...how are you and my family friends? We love junk food but you know that already don't ya..
Hmmmmm, well I have nothing for ya, just thought I would drop by and say hello. By the way, deep writing there dude, what's up with the philosophical writing? I'm impressed.
Jacob defined means "deceiver". Interesting huh.?
It is, but Jacob is one of the 3 main writers on here. ^^
Interesting!!
I have to tell you, I don't think Jacob is who you think he is....
To borrow an excerpt from "unknown" Not everything written is always as it seems.
I like that, has a lot of truth to it, unlike the meaning behind the name "Jacob".
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We shall see. Lets not ask him directly if he is a man of standing then our fun would be over. Lets let it linger on for awhile longer.
Ok, well since you are not having fun, I will not say anything :) But I sort of already did, hey ~J~ don't mind me and my statements since Robert does not want to spoil the fun.
^^
Hmnmm What does giggler defined mean? Or, rather what would you define it as?
Well the dictionary defines like this: a person who laughs nervously
I on the other hand chose that name because pretty much throughout my adult life folks have said I laugh at almost everything, so I thought it appropriate, no hidden meaning behind it really :)
The original author becomes more popular as the days go by. I see ~J~ may or may not be who you think he is, this is quiet interesting from my perspective. I suppose if you figure out who Jacob is that will satisfy your hunger for answers for a while longer and this will keep the game going between you and I.
Here's something for you:
When the tides of time decide to change the only flutters left remain in the brain, so what will they produce? only time will tell will they shine light on the mystery or go further into the depths of Hell which could cause the mystery to go even deeper and the question still will remain do you know its keeper? Or can you offer a gem which will tempt the tempter to give up the identity of the gate keeper?
Yes yes I know It didn't have a hidden meaning. It was your chance to give a broader possibley more revealing answer.
I'm not following you there Robert my buddy... My chance to give a broader more revealing answer about what? You can click on my giggler link and that will take you to my blog so you know, that's not a secret... :)
I see you have Jacob's name and ~J~ linked to my blog...what up with that?
AND finally...on a more serious note...what the snot is "unknown" talking about? I seriously can't follow this clown. I can follow you better then his/her writings. Give me some insights O'Mighty One :o)
see ya
Wow your calling some guy you've never met a clown. Thats not like you. Hmmm, whats going on here.
I get a little frustrated when I can't figure stuff out...sorry you are correct, sorry whoever you are, I did not mean to speak ill of you since I don't know you. But none the less, what does it mean>?
And another thing Robby, you did not answer any of my questions. Why?
I will just have to talk to you in person. FREAK! ^^
Ok so you spoke to me in person FREAK!
What now?
I guess I just keep goin with Curiosity.
Hmmmm~~~~~~So I am a clown am I "giggler"? Has Jacob become less of a Mystery to the group? I have yet to hear the final outcome but my guess would be Jacob is "giggler" :)
As for you Casey, I have yet to hear much out of you. I am becoming disappointed in our game, seems I am doing the playing and you are doing the reading; this certainly can't be a fun game unless we both play!
Giggler: I don't find my writings ummmmm confusing, just a bit of imagination to follow it really. Takes someone to think outside the box such as Casey to follow my writings which of course tells me a thing are two about him.
Casey: When do you think this game will end? I find you are writing less and less these days so I wonder if you are not drawing close to being bored with all this now? Has the mystery and investigation become common so much so that you are done with it? Or have you predeterminded in your mind that you will not give me my answer and I shall not give you your answer and therefore are ready to move on to the next exciting thing? I mean at least this way you stay in control sort of anyway, really at this point we would be left in a western draw, nobody wins we just remain umm a mystery :)
Look forward to you finally giving me more then a few words on your next response..
Yes ~J~ is Giggler.
No game is confined entirely to its field of play. My waiting to respond has served its purpose.
I do believe it could end here. ^^
Truth – the thing that corresponds to fact or reality. The room is real. That the room is real is truth. That most all of us have been in a room is truth. If you can see the room, if you know it and have been there. If you can walk through it and give meaning to its parts, then the meanings that you give to it are truth. It is not the room that is relevant, it is how the room is interpreted. I have observed the room, I have painted the room here. You have given your interpretation. You have given significance to its parts by doing one of two things. You have realized that you too have been in this room, and ascribed a relative truth (which is in fact no less a truth) to it. Or you have melded your relative truth into what you believed to be descriptive of the subject’s circumstance thereby creating a half truth (which is less than truth). If the first statement is true then you have most likely given the reader more information about your own experiences than I have about the subject’s. If the latter is true then you have still given up a little information about yourself, but it would be impossible to accurately separate your relative truths from the fabrications. Either way you have asked the question, “Any truth to the things said?” and I have given you the tools to answer it.
/goodnight
You have given me the tools to answer it, but that was not the question, had I wanted to figure it out on my on, I would never have asked you. Just like if I were to give you some clues into my identity then tell you to figure it out, but the truth is, you asked me a question which I agreed to answer only if you answered mine, true enough you have answered mine in a way, but not with an answer....so the question still awaits the "answer" at which point without tools or hesitation I will then answer your question to me.
Preception from one about one is just that "preception" that does not make it true :)
Hey, well while I was creating the blog thing, they said to do that advertise thing and get paid. So I thought I would try it, just for the fun of it you know? So you could do it, but you would not get paid unless someone clicked on it. I suppose you could click on mine and I could click on yours then we would get paid :)
I have been thinking since I last wrote which was earlier today. I read your blog post again and it sounds like you are ready to end the game.
I will tell you this, I know more behind the meaning of your words then I have let on, simply because I know you better then you know me, so that gives me the edge.
This has been fun, I have enjoyed it for the most part. If you want to know who I am you can ask "Giggler". :)
LoL, I figured.
Now the fun is over, you will have to go back to your regular post and just see the same old person comment on it :)
Hello friend! How are you and all that is yours? I really don't have a lot to say these days, sort of tired really, thinking I might go to bed here in minute. I have not much fun since you found out who "unknown" and "Jacob" are, but that's ok too, I will chat with you later,
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